“Disregard First Book”
One of the financial blogs I read directed me to this article about older, divorced women, and I found it breathtaking. Having witnessed many of my elders (my aunt, best friend’s mother, among others) go through this exact scenario, I realized that it explains, to the letter, what I think is missing from so much “discussion” of working mothers vs. SAHMs. The financial aspects of staying home for long periods with children can be very devastating for women, but women must also endure a lot of criticism for putting a child in daycare, so there’s really no winning this battle. A lot of discussion goes on about the “ideology” of both courses, but the truth is that it is a narrow path for anyone to navigate.
From “Paradise Lost”, NYTimes
…In subsequent years I lectured on the rewards of homemaking and housewifery. While others tried to make the case that women like me were parasites and little more than legalized prostitutes, I spoke to rapt audiences about the importance of being there for your children as they grew up, of the satisfactions of “making a home,” preparing family meals and supporting your hard-working husband.So I was predictably stunned and devastated when, on our 40th wedding anniversary, my husband presented me with a divorce. I knew our first anniversary would be paper, but never expected the 40th would be papers, 16 of them meticulously detailing my faults and flaws, the reason our marriage, according to him, was over.
I appreciate Terry Hekker’s forthright honesty and her confession that her first book, applauding the choice to be a full-time homemaker, was, at least in her case, overly optimistic. It brings up another element to the discussion about motherhood, and whether or not feminism has truly helped mothers (it does appear to help single women). Food for thought…
Steampunk — my new obsession
Man wears steampunk hat creation @ ComiCon
World, meet my new obsession: steampunk. Do I own anything steampunk? No. Do I wish I owned anything steampunk? YES. Like these amazing thigh-high tights. Or perhaps this super cool cake (see below).
Seriously, though; I love this cake. It’s from Mike’s Creations, which has some of the most amazing wedding cakes I’ve ever seen (even though I loved my own — thanks Christina! You’re a master artist!):
Incredible steampunk cake
My wedding cake - Alice in Wonderland style
And last but not least, I love steampunk fashion — not the candy-stripe pink kind that looks like Victorian wallpaper, but the dark suits, tophats, striped stockings and corsets with tulle hiding under brocade dresses.
From Abney Park on LiveJournal
One of the reasons I wanted to buy a sewing machine was to start making some of my own designs, particularly steampunk designs which are typically hand-made or made from upcycled vintage clothing. I don’t imagine myself walking down the street in a tophat (although I adore hats, and wish good hats were easier to find), but I can be queen of dress-up… or something.
I’m not terribly into fashion, but I do gripe that we just keep recycling the same old fashions over and over. After all, the 1950’s wasn’t “retro,” it was itself; same for the 1960’s and 1970’s, but I see flower children in the park these days listening to iPods. Steampunk, it’s true, is a copy of Victorian style, but with quite a bit of twist. I think punk is one of the funnest styles we had the last century, and to combine that effect with Victorian corsets, tophats, goggles and lace-up boots…we’ll, it’s like visual ska, putting together disparate elements for an amazing whole.
Quote of the week:
From Dooce:
The Grandmommy: Not much different than The Godfather, except maybe a little less bloodshed and a ton more emotional manipulation.
Gifts of Perfection
The Yoda Phone Charm
Want to get me a gift I’ll love? This is your answer. I don’t know how I’ve been living without this for so long. It is closely followed by the Bacteria Assassin Ninja Toothbrush Sanitizer:
You never even saw it coming...
Or how about this bark-free device that keeps dogs from barking? (I’m looking at YOU, Daphne the dog!) You can buy this for me too.
Emits a high-pitched sound whenever a dog barks, annoying the dog back.
Dual Colds
Marti and I both have colds; I’ve been nursing one for months, and was almost better before our Christmas trip. Marti got a cold (mine?) while traveling back from North Carolina (5 hours on a plane from Detroit to Phoenix = torment of Hades). Since we left at 7 a.m. and I was totally neurotic about getting to the airport (we traveled by air just a few weeks after 9/11/2001 and spent 2 hours inching through security, nearly missing our flight) we got up at 4:15 a.m. That’s 2:15 a.m. Tucson time, folks. We got home at 8 p.m. Tucson time. It was a very, very long day.
Needless to say, our diet of fudge and Dr. Pepper over the holidays didn’t help, and we are both very sick. Marti has mostly been a trooper, but I still have to post this video. The first time I saw it, I nearly died of laughter, and Marti was chagrined enough that he actually made me tea and soup the next time I was sick. May you have as much luck with your beloved; and now may I present: The “Man-cold.”
A Beautiful Article
Marti posted this article about Modern Love on his Twitter; it is a very nice read and worth reposting here.
Anyone who has been married for a long time starts to feel like a soldier surrounded by heavy casualties. In graduate school, a couple who married when we did failed to make it through a year. In my first job, we were one of four couples who got together almost every weekend; a few years later my wife and I were the only ones still together. Deep into our married life, five couples we knew, each together at least two decades, came apart in a single year, shells of separation bursting all around us.
. . .
And making all those changes in your address book affects your own marriage. When a close friend left his wife for someone much younger, my wife intensified her exercise regimen. Watching other couples break up also reminds me that divorce causes friends to choose between the two parties, and I would not like my chances.
Happy Holidays from all of us
A rare moment: all of us dressed up, no one with visible catsup stains.
When you point your finger…
Here’s an excerpt from a recipe site I was at, looking for pancake recipes (emphasis mine).
Here’s the original recipe:
Ingredients
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 3 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 1 tablespoon white sugar
- 1 1/4 cups milk
- 1 egg
- 3 tablespoons butter, melted
- In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. Make a well in the center and pour in the milk, egg and melted butter; mix until smooth.
- Heat a lightly oiled griddle or frying pan over medium high heat. Pour or scoop the batter onto the griddle, using approximately 1/4 cup for each pancake. Brown on both sides and serve hot.
Now here is a comment left by someone apparently furious with all the “alterations” people were suggesting:
It kills me how people go in and mutilate a perfectly good recipe. Then you have bad reviews and more mutilations. I read these reviews and decided I’d make the recipe just as it calls and I recommend not changing a thing (except maybe adding 1/2 tsp of vanilla to your egg mixture). I DO recommend sifting the flour, twice. That makes for a fluffier pancake. Let your egg and milk set at room tempurature and use unsalted butter. Beat your egg, add the melted butter and beat lightly until blended, then lightly beat in your milk (careful not to overbeat your egg). Add to your dry mixture. Your result is a fluffy, delicious, good old fashion [sic] pancake. This is one is a keeper!
This made Marti and I laugh and laugh…”When you point your finger, three fingers point back at you.”
I LOVE XKCD
Yeah, this is pretty much how it happens.
