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A Beautiful Article

Marti posted this article about Modern Love on his Twitter; it is a very nice read and worth reposting here.

Anyone who has been married for a long time starts to feel like a soldier surrounded by heavy casualties. In graduate school, a couple who married when we did failed to make it through a year. In my first job, we were one of four couples who got together almost every weekend; a few years later my wife and I were the only ones still together. Deep into our married life, five couples we knew, each together at least two decades, came apart in a single year, shells of separation bursting all around us.
. . .
And making all those changes in your address book affects your own marriage. When a close friend left his wife for someone much younger, my wife intensified her exercise regimen. Watching other couples break up also reminds me that divorce causes friends to choose between the two parties, and I would not like my chances.

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Rant scratchy: Truth or War

My number two rant about certain conservative politics:
Jesus loves you. God Bless America.

Let’s go to war.

The Simpsons sometimes makes more sense than the news...

The Simpsons sometimes makes more sense than the news...

I see a lot of people these days talking about how we shouldn’t have gone to war in Iraq, and strangely, some of them are the same people who accused me of disloyalty and being unpatriotic to my country when I thought we shouldn’t go to war in Iraq — back in 2003. In fact, on March 20, 2003, I drove in search of a church, any church, where I could pray that we would not go to (another) war, and when I heard the announcement on the radio that we had invaded Iraq I still hadn’t found an open church and I pulled over to the side of the road and cried like a baby. One of the strangest disconnects about the conservative movement, particularly the conservative Christian movement, is this need to celebrate war and the military. I understand this comes out of a cultural battle that started in the 1960s with the hippie, anti-war movement, but what I don’t understand is how we can still be fighting about it now, forty, almost fifty years later.

The antiwar movement of the 60s still invokes powerful emotions today.

The antiwar movement of the 60s still invokes powerful emotions today.

One of the things I thought when I was in labor with Ben (22 hours with no pain meds people!) was, how could anyone send their child off to war? After this much pain and this much hardship just getting a single child out into the world? I cannot imagine anything dearer to me than my children, and at that point, when I gave birth to Ben, I realized that I would always be an advocate for peace.

Many people justify war, giving Hitler as an illustration, but although Hitler caused the death of 5 million Jewish people, as well as a few million more of gypsies, homosexuals and others who didn’t fit into his idea of a pure society, 60 million people died because of the war itself. So Hitler was directly responsible for 7 million deaths, while the war itself — including multiple countries — claimed 53 million more. It is possible that Europe would have been occupied by Germany and more terrible atrocities committed by Hitler if we had not gone to war (although 60 million is a big number), and I understand this argument, but look at that other “what-if” possibility — the assassination of Hitler and a quick removal of his regime could have saved tens of millions of people. War is not a good solution, nor is it Godly, and I wish that our country would not so easily send our youth out to be killed in the name of patriotism. This idea that “not going to war” is somehow unpatriotic is still absurd to me — there’s a difference between throwing dirt at a wounded soldier, and saying “Hey, let’s not send this guy to get wounded” in the first place. I definitely prefer the latter.

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The Foreign Service

Foreign Service Officers serve world-wide

Foreign Service Officers serve world-wide

Two minutes ago, I received an e-mail from the State Department saying I passed the foreign service exam and can move on to the next stage in the hiring process (five narrative essays, which, if acceptable, will lead to two days of oral interviews in Washington, D.C.). This is the second time I’ve taken the FSOT (foreign service officer test), and I am still in absolute shock that I passed.

The first time I took the test was a year or two after Ben was born, so either 2003 or 2004. We had been in Tucson for a while, and we weren’t sure we would have any more children. Since there is about a 2-year lead time for hiring, I figured I might get hired around when Ben went to kindergarten, if I made it through the process. Unfortunately, I did not pass the first stage: the test. Arguably this is the easiest portion of the process, so failing it was a bit discouraging, but I kept in mind the areas I was weakest (economics and world history) and for the past five years, I’ve paid special attention to both areas. I also studied much harder and much more efficiently this time. I think I did poorly on the essay section, but the rest of the test passed like a breeze — I completed it in 2 hours and 20 minutes (rather than the 4 hours allotted) and left thinking I’d either done spectacularly or really, really badly. I don’t know about the spectacular part, but I passed.

I always seem to choose professions that make the average person on the street stop and go, “Hunh?” I’ve spent a lot of time explaining to friends and acquaintances that librarianship is a profession, and does not consist of shushing people and stamping books anymore. I find that most people are unaware of what, exactly, a foreign service officer is and what the field is about also.

The foreign service is a corps of diplomats who work to assist U.S. citizens around the world, and who spread diplomacy and cooperation between the U.S. government and foreign entities. There are 265 foreign service posts abroad, as well as posts within the U.S. When I say, “Diplomat,” some people automatically think, “Ambassador,” but diplomat to ambassador is like politician to U.S. Senator; there are many diplomats, and a few rise up the career ladder to become an Ambassador. The most recent head of the State Department and thus the foreign service officer corps is Hillary Rodham Clinton; her predecessor was Condoleeza Rice.

Aaron talks to an Iraqi woman as part of his job.

Aaron talks to an Iraqi woman as part of his job.

Foreign Service Officers specialize in five core areas: management, consular, economics, political, and public diplomacy. I applied for management, which means that, if hired, I would help run a consulate or embassy somewhere. A consular officer mainly deals with passports and visas for citizens and foreign nationals; an economics officer deals with economic policy abroad; a political officer would liaise with politicians and dignitaries in foreign countries, and a public diplomacy officer (see Aaron Snipe’s blog on serving in Iraq for an example) acts as the public face of the U.S., working with U.S. and foreign media and arranging for various programs that introduce U.S. culture and policy to the public abroad.

The other thing to know about the foreign service is that it is much like the military in that employees and their families move about every three years to a new location. It was a really difficult decision for me, now that I’ve been back in the U.S. for 8 1/2 years and have two children, whether or not to apply for the foreign service again primarily because of the stress it could put on Marti and the kids for us to continually move. Children whose parents are in the foreign service are called foreign service brats the way military kids are called military brats, and they share some of the same problems from continuous upheaval.

I read multiple articles about it, both social and psychological, and in the end I realized that it is impossible to give my children my own childhood — nor would I want to do so. I had a quiet, stable childhood in a rural town, and I lived in the same house until I moved out at 18. It was monotonous, and I watched several friends fall out of the race because of pregnancy, fear, or lost opportunities. There was beauty, yes — oh yes! The high desert is a beautiful place, and I miss the forests and the clear streams, jumping into icy cold lakes from a thirty-foot ledge, sneaking into a secret hotsprings that was little more than a ring of rocks where a hot spring met a cold stream. I miss those things. But being confined to a small area made me want to put on wings and fly in order to see the world, and that longing remains. My children have, thus far, grown up in the center of a city. They cannot ride their bikes to the corner market — it’s too dangerous. They can’t spend long days alone in the park, hiding at the top of a maple tree — maple trees don’t even grow here in the land of spines and thorns.

So I took the plunge, submitted the application, and here I am at Stage 2. If this door opens, and I walk down this road, my children will grow up in an environment 180 degrees from how I grew up. It would mean that I would have to face continual challenges: learning more languages, traveling to more places, experiencing more that is utterly foreign. But I have to say: this small-town girl’s heart is as light as air at the thought. And now…I have five essays to write!

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Remember that dream?

Picture by http://s53.photobucket.com/albums/g47/xEverlasting_Gazex/

Picture by http://s53.photobucket.com/albums/
g47/xEverlasting_Gazex/

 Remember that dream where you walked down the aisle at church and suddenly realized you were completely naked?  Or the one where you “woke up” and realized you’d missed all your finals?  Personally I like to dream that I have to use the restroom in front of a large crowd.  I think this is a throwback from labor, where suddenly random people come and poke you in places you’d rather not be poked, in order to determine whether or not you should be taken seriously when you scream, “This &*()&ing hurts!”

But anyway.

Today I didn’t dream I missed a test.  Actually, I didn’t miss it.  I just realized the test I thought was Saturday?  Is tomorrow.  The foreign service exam I was planning to go to on Saturday, is actually in 12 1/2 hours.  HOLY CRAP.  Plus, I had two other interviews tomorrow, and I realized the mistake at 7:30 p.m. tonight.  NOT GOOD.  I’m frantically trying to rearrange it all, but maybe this is life’s answer to my indecision — just knock out some possibilities.  Not pretty, but I guess it works.

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