I done got educated

Every once in a while, walking around a beautiful park with gardens and native wildlife can really give you insight into another person’s life, or at least how they make the people around them suffer. This happened yesterday at the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum.

We like to go to the Desert Museum because we’re members. This means that, back when gas was affordable, we spent $50 once a year, and then a dollar or two in gas to make the 45-mile round trip drive. Now, of course, we spent two or sometimes even three dollars in gas (I’m rubbing in our gas mileage here). Which seriously cuts into my budget for goofy hats featuring stencils of a roadrunner, let alone the hot pink paper mache hedgehogs.

Anyway, this last visit (yesterday) we ended up walking along with the same group of people for most of the park, and I got to experience some really interesting conversation. Our first stop was to see a docent holding a female Harris’ Hawk.

Docent: (To the crowd) Harris’ Hawks are tropical birds. They’ve slowly migrated north, following the cattle industry.
Me: Really! Why did that bring them north?
Docent: Well, the cattle industry created water sources, and those sources drew small game, which brought the hawks up…
Annoying woman rushes up with a small group: (Interrupting) Oh look, one of those Harris’ Hawks!
Docent: Yes, this is a fem…
Annoying woman: They’re from North Carolina, you know (gesturing to the small crowd gathered).
Docent: No, they aren’t.
Annoying woman: Yes, they are.
Docent: They’re tropical birds.
Annoying woman: Is North Carolina tropical?
Us: Embarrassed, we hurry away to escape the conversation.

Then, at the caves:

I stand quietly watching the water fall into the man-made “cavern” while enjoying the blowing fan of the swamp cooler, cool in the darkness, when the annoying woman with her group walks up with yet another informational conversation.

Annoying woman with her group: Wow. This is amazing! I can’t believe this was just here, right where the park is.
Man in group: It’s not real, Gladys.
Annoying woman possibly named Gladys (AWPNG): Of course it’s real! We’re underground!
Man: We’re not underground. They’ve built a hill over this.
AWPNG: Nonsense! It’s not a hill! It’s more of a hillock. We must be very deep, anyway.
Man: We’re not deep. We’re just under this hill.
AWPNG: (With a note of triumph) How come it’s so cold, then? I mean, it’s got to be 20 degrees cooler than outside. We must be underground!
Man: It could be cooled, you know.
AWPNG: I don’t see any coolers. Do you see any coolers?
Me: I quietly bite my lip to keep from saying anything, and reluctantly depart my spot near the hidden swamp cooler in order to escape the conversation yet again.

Marti and I stand a few minutes later, admiring the gems and minerals at the gem and mineral display, when the woman approaches yet again.
AWPNG: (Very assuredly) This is the gem and mineral display. (Announces to everyone) Gems are minerals that have been polished.
Marti: (Looks horrified)
Marti: (Whispering) She just said gems were minerals that have been polished.
Me: (Whispering back) Yeah, well she claimed these caves were natural, and she’s that woman from the Harris’ Hawk ramada.
Marti: (Still sotto voce) I couldn’t believe she said Harris’ Hawks were from North Carolina.
Me: You know, I always enjoy a nice, smooth asbestos gem myself.
Marti: Wonder what gem this copper piece smooths down to?
We finally leave, chortling quietly, letting the woman go ahead of us this time. Giving a few sympathetic glances to her companions, we stop for lunch, unfortunately ending the entertainment. Her wealth of knowledge came in useful, though.

I’m really enjoying my raw cubic zirconium chain. I might even be able to polish it into a gem someday.