Low-hanging fruit (and I’m not referring to peaches)

I just want everyone to know that I am just as sexy as this. Really. Under all my, um, clothing. Riiight.

You know, I’ve struggled with my weight for most of my life. And I often fall into the trap of thinking that, were I thinner and in better shape, my life would somehow be better.

Well, this woman proves me wrong.

In a fit of depression, Jeanette Sliwinski, the lingerie model pictured here, ran multiple red lights trying to crash and kill herself. She finally managed to crash into a Honda Civic that was sitting at a red light. At 70 mph, she did not brake, and the three musicians in the other car were killed. Jeanette Sliwinski, however, sustained only minor injuries, and now faces 10 years in prison for manslaughter reckless homicide (see comment).

I’m going to ponder being me for a moment, just while I finish off this mini KitKat…