By popular request, some before and after pictures of Maya’s cleft lip:
Maya in utero (3-D ultrasound of cleft [and foot]) and at birth (May 2006)
Maya the day of her surgery at 5 months and now, post surgery, at 7 months.
I wanted to post these pictures to the web all together for those who come to this site specifically for cleft pictures. I do this because I think that in many ways it is difficult for parents of children with very minor clefts. When we found out Maya had a cleft, we got a lot of “worse-case scenario” literature, with pictures of extremely deformed clefts and very few really clear “before and after” pics. I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “They do really great stuff these days…” but there were few pictures of repairs that involve unilateral incompletes like Mayas. I think most clinics go in for the shock value, or they are worried about giving false hope or something. Anyway, here’s the real deal, and let me tell you straight up, Maya has a noticeable scar. Most people think she has a raw nose, the kind you get from a cold, because it’s kind of red. I don’t know how the scar will look in a few years — we’ll just have to wait and see. But even a minor cleft does leave a scar. That being said, I don’t think this is going to really cripple her life, socially or otherwise, and I am constantly surprised how many people don’t even notice it.
These days, I hardly ever think about Maya’s cleft at all. I know there are a lot of emotional posts on this site, and yes, it was hard to deal with at first. I thought Maya would somehow be…inferior. But I don’t think that anymore. From the moment I saw her, I knew she was amazing. The doctor describes her as “vigorous,” and let me tell you, there is a lot of determination in that little girl. We expect her to solve global warming and bring about world peace any day now.
Here’s the best advice I received about Maya and her cleft, and I will pass it on:
Pick a really good surgeon. Go to a different city, get on a listserv, read the forums. The surgeon we got did over a hundred clefts a year, and many good people actually discouraged us from traveling 100 miles to go to him, whereas the surgeon here in our city only does 5 clefts a year and in hindsight was a bit clueless about clefts in babies. Because the doctor we picked, Dr. Beals, was really excellent, he also worked with a really excellent pediatric anesthesiologist. Working with pediatric specialists was absolutely wonderful, and changed how everything happened post-surgery. Our original surgeon wanted us to dropper-feed Maya for 10 days after surgery and said her nose would never be normal. Dr. Beals said dropper feeding wasn’t necessary (and he was right) and Maya’s nose is slowly changing shape and becoming more regular as she heals and continues to grow. It does not look like she is going to have a flat nose at all. We saved ourselves a lot of grief and worry by switching surgeons.
Get counseling. Really. Maya was our second child and I knew that it was going to be tough, so I did some pre-emptive stuff to keep myself from going over the edge. First of all, I forgave myself for whatever I may have possibly done that could have caused the cleft. I learned how to tell people, kindly, that “It’s not my fault,” when they asked, “So what is the cause of this?” because in truth, that was their question. I allowed myself to take anti-depressants. I got involved in stuff that is not directly related to my kids, because all this? It is too much stress. It is too much of me, without any me left to go around. And the world? The world does not revolve around me and no one is going to die or grow up to be a criminal if I go for a run or catch dinner with my husband every once in a while.
For those of you who have come to this site for cleft pictures, because you or someone you love has a child with a cleft, I hope this site helps. I know I wanted all the information I could possibly get when I found out about Maya, which is why we got the 3-D ultrasound done. I didn’t want to be frightened by her face. But when she was born, I couldn’t stop crying, because her face — it was the most beautiful thing.
It’s hard to believe but some days I miss her little notch. It gave her a lot of character. It made her a little different. And it was hard to accept that I needed to scar my own child. But however she looks, she is incredibly special to us — and always will be.
Good luck and I hope you enjoy the photos.
December 16th, 2006 at 5:23 pm
Maya looks to cute! Also I like the new look to your site.
May 4th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Hi,
Like you have said, I stumbled on this website by searching pictures for cleft lip. My daughter has a cleft lip, and is having her surgery on May 18. I am getting worried about it more and more everyday. The hospital where she was born was very helpful and provided me with a coordinator from the Cleft program who told me all that I needed to know at the time.
I have found a plastic surgeon affiliated with that group/program and have also spoken to a parent whose son has had surgery by him. It is very comforting to speak to someone about it in detail.
My daughter, Layla, is also so beautiful like your daughter is and I too love her with the cleft. I also have 2 older boys and they find her lip cute and funny!
She is 3 months old and hopefully it will be just one surgery for her. I want to thank you for your candid information and let you know that your website is truly from the heart.
Good luck to you.
May 21st, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Thank you so much for posting pictures of your beautiful little girl! I have twin sons that were born May 4. Adam has a cleft lip. It’s very mild and lots of people don’t notice it. I don’t know if they will even do surgery on it but we’ll have a consultation in a month or so.
But as you said in your story….all the pictures I see and stories I hear are of the babies that have bad cases. I love seeing pictures of your little girl and I don’t see a scar either.
Thank you. This site has truly helped me.
May 21st, 2007 at 9:25 pm
thank you for your website. i am 30 weeks pregnant with my second child and had a 4d ultrasound done the other day just for fun and found out my baby has a possible cleft lip and/or palate. im waiting to see a high risk clinic for a better ultrasound diagnosis and the wait is killing me. i have found much support in the Cleft Advocate support group online and i had saved your website along with others just for the pictures to show my husband possibilities. and then today i finally read what was on your website and it helped a lot. from my ultrasound pics i think/i hope my baby’s cleft is a lot like your sweet baby girl’s. thanks so much for sharing.
May 24th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Thank you for posting the ultrasound picture of Maya. My first son, Jimmy (now 18 months), was born with a unilateral cleft lip and partial cleft palate but his was not caught in the ultrasound so it was a surprise at birth. I am pregnant with baby #2 and I have my big ultrasound tomorrow and am completely nervous for it. I have been searching the internet for ultrasound pictures of clefts and have not had very much luck. It’s informative to see clefts that aren’t as severe (Jimmy’s was very similar to Maya’s) and it was especially helpful for me to see the ultrasound picture of a minor cleft. I hope that if this baby does have a cleft it is as minor as Jimmy’s and Maya’s. Maya is so adorable! Thanks again for the pictures.
June 18th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Wow, your little girl looks so adorable in all of the pictures. I don’t even see a scar on her post-op picture and to be honest, I would never have thought she’d had a cleft lip. I’m 5 months pregnant now with my 2nd child and I’m scared to death. I was taking xanax’s for anxiety for the first 6 weeks of my pregnancy before I knew and I was looking on the internet at risks caused by taking xanax while pregnant and the most common is cleft lip, but like you said, when searching for pictures I could only find the worst case scenarios and it scared me to death. I was searching for 3-D ultrasounds on google and seen the pic of your daughter. I’m so relieved to see that there is a case out there where the child had a minor cleft and it was so beautifully corrected with surgery. I’m going on the 25th to the Prenatal Diagnostic Care Center to get a 3-D ultrasound and check on the baby. I’m really scared but I’m going to try and be strong. Thanks for posting these pics and giving others hope. God bless you and your sweet baby girl and your family.
~Mandy
January 12th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
hi, i left a previous post when i was pregnant and just found out about our daughters cleft. you site was the first site i found and gave me hope because the ultrasound pictures were similar. feel free to check out my daughter as she is able to go in for her second lip repair at 6 months old on jan 24th. carepages.com (babyford)