Why is that wino outrunning me again?

In further studies about the effects of resveratrol, an ingredient found in red wine, peanuts and a few other things, scientists found the chemical not only increased muscle mass and extended the lives of lab rats but also increased their endurance as well. A lab rat can run about 1 km before collapsing; those given the drug increased their endurance to run 2 km, an increase of 100 percent. A lot of people hate the fact that red wine, an evil, evil alcoholic drink, could possibly be so good for your heart and liver, but facts are facts. This clearly explains why that white-haired, pot-bellied guy in polyester running attire passed me like I was standing still during my last 10K. He is clearly a heavy red wine drinker. Clearly.