Habibi

I enjoyed my first Arabic class last night, although the instructor spent a lot of time discussing the different ways middle eastern men kiss each other (it’s cultural). Who knew kissing was different for people the same age and for people who are older/younger than you? A lot like bowing in Japan. Anyway, we all tried to say the Arabic alphabet, which mainly includes sounds like “the harsh clearing of the throat after a bad cold,” and “the smoker’s cough with tongue thrust” and other interesting sounds we don’t use in the English language. The instructor had a very jolly face and didn’t call us infidels, not even once. He also endeared himself to me by teasing a girl who had insisted that she “like, had sooo many Arab friends and like, talked slang all the time and learned the entire alphabet in like, one day” and was a natural. Of course she couldn’t pronounce half the letters, and struggled with the “Waternoose jumping growl” sound, just like the rest of us, to which the professor said, “And where are these friends of yours, eh? I speak to them, they teach you nothing.” I love public humiliation, especially when it’s not mine. Oh, and I almost forgot — habibi. The only word I learned, and it means “my beloved.” Men say it to each other. Don’t worry though — it’s cultural.