Twenty-Five Things You PROBABLY Don’t Know About Me

25. I have a terrible soft spot for fluffy things, and particularly love “flat” things because they remind me of how my favorite dog in childhood used to lay with his legs backward. I was a slave to Tare Panda in Japan.

24. I’ve been secretly obsessed with art ever since a Picasso (blue period) I saw in a museum in London moved me to tears.

23. I also have a very bad sense of humor, and my first web page had a link to a website of farting dogs. You had to mouse-over the dogs to make them fart. I loved it and it always made me laugh.

22. When I was in junior high, I wanted to have four kids and to be a writer some day.

21. The idea to live overseas came to me the first time I learned to meditate in prayer when I was 9.

20. I feel terribly guilty about having more money or more things than other people. This does not stop me from trying to accumulate both.

19. I have an obsession with popping zits. I cannot explain this.

18. If I were a little less balanced and a little more militant, I would be an eco-soldier, because natural beauty moves me so deeply I cannot even explain it. If I am too far removed from nature, I always fall into a deep depression. Conversely, working with dirt, hiking or getting outside almost always makes me feel better.

17. I secretly believe in life on other planets (well, not so secretly now, I suppose). I simply believe the logic is there; space is too big to be totally empty. However, I accept that “life” might consist entirely of members of the roach family, whereupon I would spray that extraterrestrial life with the best bug-killer money could buy.

16. When I got lonely overseas, I actually cared for the spiders and geckos living in my house. I had multiple spiders missing a leg or two that I cultivated. When I left, however, I forgot about them until the next teacher moved in. She spent one terrified night in the middle of the house, huddled with her 5-year-old and a babysitter, with spiders in every corner. She did her best to exterminate them. When she told me, I acted sympathetic, but in truth I was extremely sad about the loss of my arachnid pets, and I did not tell her I had let them live inside on purpose.

15. I hate bicycling. I cannot explain why, but I do; however, I still go biking for “fun” with others.

14. I don’t really like candy. If it isn’t chocolate or doesn’t have frosting, it really doesn’t interest me.

13. By the time I met my husband, I had decided I never wanted to get married. Perversely, the man I was dating wanted to marry me, and I was still dating him when my husband decided he wanted to marry me too. This just goes to show the absolute perversity of men.

12. I love quilts, but I absolutely abhor quilting. I don’t mind sewing, but quilting makes me want to stab myself with something sharp.

11. I am not afraid of tarantulas, and don’t mind most creepy-crawlies so long as they don’t surprise me. I loathe cockroaches.

10. I once ate a fish while it was still alive, pretty much on a dare. As an added bonus, it had poisonous spines, which I had to rip out with my teeth.

9. I felt like I had bad karma for many weeks after this incident.

8. I am also somewhat superstitious.

7. When Marti met me, I had been doing yoga for two years and could wrap my legs around my head.

6. I think this might be why I was getting multiple marriage proposals.

5. No matter how many things I learn, I never feel “smart” enough. This often makes me obnoxious, as I try to show people I am not dumb.

4. I am, at heart, painfully shy, and being in a crowd can sometimes actually cause me physical pain.

3. For some reason, I often feel ashamed if I do not understand some nuance about another person’s culture or customs. See #5.

2. I love people very deeply, which is why I tend to have a few, very close friends rather than a wide circle.

1. If I could be other than who I am, I would be a very fluffy people-person who could talk to anyone. I also make fun of these kinds of people, while I secretly envy them.