On having children:
- Why is my food/drink/cookie always better than their food/drink/cookie?
- Why do toddlers take off their diapers in order to pee on the floor?
- Why, if kids don’t understand they are going potty, do they find a nice, quiet place to make a puddle? Such as in the middle of the snake sculpture at the mall play area in front of several dozen spectators?
- Why can’t the first outfit be the one they want to wear?
- Why is mama’s bed always softer and more comfortable?
- Why do kids need to come in while you’re peeing and talk about the weather/school/what’s on t.v.?
- How can a kid stick a finger into his/her own poop, yet be unwilling to eat a sandwich with a bite taken out of it?
- How come personal hygiene (tooth brushing, flossing, nail-trimming, hair cutting, etc) becomes so much more important at bedtime than when you’d like to get it done some other time during the day?
- Why are couch cushions integral to having a fun time? What about that Star Wars set I bought at Christmas for $49 that’s sitting in the closet still?
- What’s so wrong with green stuff? Do kids come pre-programmed to reject vegetables?
- How do kids know the moment you sit down to cuddle with your spouse? Are they equipped with radar?
- Why do young children get up early but teenagers sleep in? Is this God’s cruel trick on parents?
- What do parents in Africa do without macaroni and cheese?
- How come a child can run around for 30 minutes in a playground, yet be unable to walk 30 feet to the car?
- Why, despite all these things, are kids still cute when they’re asleep?
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Hmm, at first when you told me about IKEA not letting children wearing pull-ups in the play area, I thought they were being a little snooty. After reading this, I am starting to understand their reasoning, lol!
Well, I do understand their reasoning, except that it doesn’t really make a difference whether or not the kid is in pull-ups or underwear. Maya poops in either.
Really, Ikea is just an enormous maze, and the fact that, after we couldn’t let the kids play in the kid area we also couldn’t get out of the store without walking through all the kid furniture and decorations (we had to drag Maya out screaming) just made me really bitter. Bitter enough I refused to buy a single thing, despite liking several items. Next time I’ll go armed with underwear for Maya and a cheerful smile for the workers…I’ll save the evil laugh until I’m out of earshot. I say “I” because Marti would probably rather eat Maya’s underwear than ever step in another Ikea. Or so I inferred from his Facebook status railing about it.
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