Up in smoke

You know, a lot of people have given me comfort since we found out Maya will have a cleft lip. Family, friends — you name it, people have really come through. I still get down, but lately I’ve done a lot of searching online, particularly since my doctor was practically worthless when I asked if there was a cleft lip/palate clinic in Tucson. She had no idea. Ironically, I found it on the Cleft Foundation’s website — and it’s two blocks from her office.

More importantly, I found a list of famous people who have had cleft lips. Tom Brokaw, Doc Holliday, Wendy Harmer, Rita McNeil and Jesse Jackson have all had cleft lips, but none of them really made any effect until I saw — Cheech Marin. Ahhhh, Cheech! How many times did my brother and sister sneak a Cheech & Chong movie in while my parents were out? I immediately felt better. Not that I want my daughter to make crass jokes and smoke weed for national audiences or anything, but, hey, it could be worse. She could want to be a cheerleader in high school.

Not that cheerleaders are all bad. I even had a cheerleader friend once. She was even blonde. And skinny. But there are some things that you just don’t want for your children, and watching my daughter shake pom-poms and/or her booty in front of sports lovers is one of those things. This makes me 100 percent sure she will want to be a cheerleader and possibly to dye her hair blonde when she is 16 years old.

Where was I? Oh yes, Cheech Marin. I see that a few of the famous people with cleft lip gained their fame through sense of humor (Tom Brokaw notwithstanding) and this does comfort me. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I am glad I was not beautiful in high school. I think I sort of “blossomed” later (such as it was), but beautiful girls in high school and even college went through so much that in the end, I started to feel sorry for them a bit (a bit, I said). If my daughter has a scarred lip it’s pretty likely she won’t be participating in high school beauty contests, but will instead be participating in a final restorative surgery, but this is, in some ways, a blessing. Maybe she’ll be funny. Maybe she’ll make people laugh. Maybe she’ll be sweet, right to the core of her being, in a way I never was and never could be. Maybe she’ll be a little like Cheech — irreverent, but someone who makes a strong impression, one way or another. That’s why finding out Cheech had a cleft lip was a lot more fun than finding out that, say, Blaise Winter had one.

I owe you one, Cheech.